It came to me that people are always supporting me. Maybe not all... But well. Enough to make me motivated.
It can be through words... actions... facial expressions. Like. Last year. I was completely down on myself. I wanted to give up on like. Everything? There was this point of time where my friendship was screwed like shit. And results screwed like shit. Flute playing - dont even talk bout it.

And then. I wanted to give up on myself for good. Of course not to the extend of jumping off a building. But actually to the extend of like. Stop playing with flute. Dont bother to talk to friends anymore. And like. (okay. not studying is normal). AHHH! I know. Not studying EVEN when it's one day before the exams.

But then. These people showed up. (Listing a few hereee.)
For studying... Okay. I still dont like studying. hahaha. I guess. I'll have to say Jaslyn. She's working hard now. So when I like. Play games. I'll rmb to like. Go do my homework. hahaha. :D THAT IS GOOD.

For flutes. I'll have to thank rachel. Wah. I tell you. if i were her. i would totally slap this stupid girl called kathleen oh. She cant even count. Cant read rhythm. Cant even play when u ask her to. But then. I found it amazing that. When I feel like. Uber down on myself. She'll give me a hug. And then whenever during combines. She'll remind me that I can in fact do it. AND SOOOO. Though I STILL SUCK. It won't be as easy as last time to break me down and make me cry (ehem. siwei. HAHA!)

For friends. Last year this year. Cant rmb when. But like. I was feeling completely left out. You know. Being outspoken really doesnt necessarily mean u have alot of good friends. There came a time when. I open msn. Stare... and then. I realise. That. I really have no one to talk to. Maybe it's cause the ppl i want to talk to are not online. But. Aiya. sad enough la.
Then the thing is that. My friends had... to attend to... other things. And then. They spent less and less time with me.
It was a super bad feeling. I didnt have anyone to go home with. Even if I did, it felt weird. I really rather go home alone.
And then. I started praying I guess. And then soon, it became okay.
AND YAY! I even made new friends.
Like xiumei (sarcastic laughter to me...). Mingfangggg (:D)... vivan... bingda. alot la. I guess.
I still rmb the first week. You know, I totally did not pass interview for psl. HAHAA. I screwed it. And well. All my friends did. Okayokay. Most of my friends did. The friends I ate recess with? SO YES.
The very first day. Second day? dont know which one. I went for recess alone. Still being unable to swallow the fact that the class was missing one super impt person. And then. I ate my food. At the bench... Looked around... Eat. Looked around... Eat. It was P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C. And then. I think the next day. I did the same thing. And like. Most of the guys in the class joined me. WHICH WAS VERY WEIRD ALSO. No idea why. But the presence of kahleong made it better.
But then. After a while. I like to eat with them. Cause it's fun. Even if it's boring at times.
I guess this is one of the many challenges I had. I overcomed it, and made more friends. haha. :)

Yeah so. The point is that I didnt lose my friends and even made more new friends.

Andd well. I was worrying over my studies. Like. I was totally 'MY SCORE IS NO WHERE NEAR 3.5. OH NO.' kind of thing? So one of my friends was like 'it's about quality not quantity. Im taking 8 sub'. Sth along that line la. AND WOW. though it's totally. Short and dont know like what. It impacted me a hell lot.
That never like. Came into my head or anything. Like seriously. If I cant do it. i just cant do it. I cant possible mug like dont know what at last min. And then do well then. Then if I take 9 sub, wont i die? YES I WILL.

Everything is a surprise. Whatever I expected didnt come. Whatever I didnt expect came.
Challenges...

Anyway. You know. There was this talk today. Okayokay. Champs thing bout leadership. And it's about influencing others and stuff like that?
But honestly speaking. if you try too hard, for the wrong things, u're really out. Like. Seriously.

After the talk. A question came to my mind. 'So am I a leader?'. And then an answer came next. 'At times'. You know. Actually, I think that that answer applies to everyone. Whether they know it or not, or whether they think too highly of themselves. Everyone is a leader, but not always one.
It's my opinion. But. Well yeah. I guess you get my point.

Recess. Was. Quiet. Was it?
I miss Gina. She's. Fun.
As in. Maybe it's hard to concentrate in class with her. But then, when I was in the same group as her in science, I found it quite funny. Maybe cause she calls me and shouts in my ear and complains that im damn loud, that's why im used to it. OR MAYBE, cause she reminds me of my mum, and I just smile and dao. hahaa. But. Well yeah. She adds on to my laughter and happiness.

And then while she was gone. Isa, Cy, SJ said they didnt miss her. Which I thought was rather weird. Anyway. Then I asked them if they missed me. And they answered sth... I can't rmb. But they most probably didnt. I guess. SO WELL.

Oh I just pissed Jaslyn off. oops.

Oh well. Tomorrow home econs. we're cooking some funny funny thing. :D
Wooooots!!!