Ok.... holidays..... GREAT~~~

Holidays are fun. But it also means less play more study. =(
It seems like I can't study there few days for some reasons...
I look at the homework, stare at it, and just take up my hp and play some stupid games.

Studying just makes me feel dizzy and makes me have a headache. I am 100% sure that i won't get good grades for Psle la..... I would most likely get a 240/300 for my PSLE. And that sucks. Some people go up to me and say that I'm bound to get 270+++ since my sisters can do that too. But I just cannot la.

There was once when I really studied. Actually, I didn't really. But it's counted la. I got like damn good for my Sa2. Then, I was still worst than them. Great...
They always get at least top 5. At least for Eileen la.
The worst Jaslyn got was like 15th in class?
And guess what. The worst I got was 27th? Or worst.

It's a good thing that I've improved. Not in results. But the way I study. Well... when I was studying last time, I would walk around the house and do lots of stuff and could be on the same question for the whole day. But now, at least i can do slightly more la and I can sit down and do my work.

But. The problem is that I get distracted easily and i constantly need people to push me just to go on. I cannot go auto-pilot. =D

Ok... the problem is that Psle is less that a month's time and I KNOW that some people have high expectations on me.

I have 2 choices.
1) Continue to slack
2) Work hard till I die

I have another problem la. And it's that I have no goals in life. Eileen knows that she wants to go into RV and Jaslyn knows that she wants to go into RGS since she was p5. But up till now, I still haven't made my decision.
Ok.... Eileen wants to be a psychiatrist and Jaslyn wants to be a professor. But me? "dunno...."

You see the difference?!?!?! People compare me between my siblings. And I know that I would never be better than them la. In whatever I do.

95/100 for english , 95/100 for chinese , 95/100 for science and a 100/100 for maths is considered only a good.
It's a good thing that my family has set lower expectations on me. Hahaha.

In the past, I would ask them "what is stress?" and I would tell myself that I would never have that. But I was wrong.

Now, I'm experiencing LOADS and LOADS of them. Having headaches almost everytime.

Ok..... everyday after school, I come back home, eat my lunch and do my things. Then, I just throw myself into bed or listen to some songs while doing sth stupid.

Wah... I found out sth... Homework given by my tutor and teachers are surrounding me. And I just do one question and sleep. Lol.

I don't usually hide my feelings. Cause I can't keep secrets from my friends.
When I'm feeling down, I will just shuddup for the whole day and will get loads of phone calls from my closest friends asking me what happenned. But if I'm in a good mood, I will practically go crazy la.

Friends leave you. For sure. I used to be friends with this certain person but now, she treats me as her enemy cause of a boy. Didn't know what I did wrong. I was also good friends with this other girl, but now, she doesn't even talk to me.

Hahaha. The good thing is that I still have a GREAT family and GREAT friends!!!! So.... I shouldn't be disappointed or stressed over such little things. I still have a life you know....

Go to this website - WEBSITE!!!!